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THE OAK SETTLE 

(HAROLD BRIGHOUSE.) 

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THE OAK SETTLE 



/ • V ) 



'i I'V 



THE OAK SETTLE 



A ONE-- ACT COMEDY 



By 

HAROLD BRIGHOU8E 



COl'YRKiHT, 191 '. ^^^' 



Samuel French, LiivItted 



Nkw York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

:S-30 AI::sr 38 TH STREET 



London 

SAM DEL FRENCa Ltd 

26 Southampton Streei 

STRAN1> 



1^1 






©GID a3817 



THE OAK SETTLE 



CHARACTERS. 

Produced on April 7, 191 1, at the Dalston Theatre. London. 
with the following cast of characters : — 

JosiAH Barton (an old Farmer) 

Anne Barton (his Wife) 

Frank Chatteris (a City Architect) 

Elsie Chatteris (his Wife) 

Joe Sykes (A Van-man) 

The scene is laid in the kitchen of an old farmhouse. 
The time is the present. 



Ail applications respecting the performances of this 
play — both by professional and amateur companies — 
must be addressed to the sole agents : — 

Messrs. SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd., 
26, Southampton Street, 

Strand, London, 

or their authorized representatives. 

The fee of fifteen shillings for each and every 
amateur representation must be paid prior to per- 
formance, and a written authority obtained for the 
production of the play. 

A.ny costumes or wigs required in the performance 
of "The Oak Settle" may be hired or purchased 
reasonably from Messrs. Chas. H. Fox, Ltd., 27, 
\¥ellington Street, Strand, London. 



THE OAK SETTLE 



,F ';-ENE yebre^cyUs the kitchen of an old Uirmhouse. 
A^thc back is the window; nearly curlained and 
iLn^ Tu a cardboard placard, blank to the ^nsrde 
cZveving to the outer world the informat^on thatmlk 
is for sale within There are doors right and left-- 
thlriM leading inside, the let to a lobby and the] 
ZrdT There is a table covered with glazed Amerz- 
iZ cloth a horse-ha^r sofa and several horse-h^r 
chairs On Ike mantelshelf above the large fireplace 
'^tveral atrocious pot dogs cind atone corner an 
rnkstand and a pen Below the window . a blah 
oak settle, curiously carved There ^ ; ^ " f 
losiAH Barton and Ins -wife Anne. jOSIAh isc 
very old man. still hale though 6^« ,'^''V-W '^/to- 
,, dressed in rough grey clothes wM a ^f^^^^ 
and black tie Anne, his wic. is many years lus 
■:tio-^a Lorn woman of. fifty of f ^ J"/ 
liealthy country type. Her bloom of ^^'Miadso 
conceal the avarice which rs writ large ^Pf^/jVT^i 
Only the most unsophisticated observer ^«« f 'oo/e « 
this face and grow entliusiashe over ^''^ l^fyf'^fZt 
of a country life. It ^s a midsummer «/™»; ^* 
the window is kept unopened. A bundle of drjei 
bracken fern is in the hearth, but from force ofluibU. 
[osiAH's chair is drawn up as if to " P''''; " , 
in it, nodding. Anne « at the opposite ^ff'^^Z 
upon some Ling. A picture of donijf^cfehfy 
imtil one examines Anne's face. ,^f f '^^^J.^'? « 
moves, takes a large red handkerchief from the nght 



8 THE OAK SETTLE. 

side pocket of his coat and weaves it as ai a fly. Anne 
Icohz ::p. 

Anne. What's taken you now ? 

JosiAii (grumhlingly) . It be a wasp. Worriting 
varmint, coming and disturbing of my sleep of an 
afternoon. Wonder is how they gets in. Winder's 
allays closed tight. (Flicking the handkerchief about.) 

Anne. Stop that, now. 

JosiAH (surprised, still flicking the handkerchief). 
What be to do, my dear ? 

Anne (threateningly). Stop it, I tell you. 

Josi AH (vuith the handkerchief suspended in the air) . 
Why ? Bain't I to kill wasp now ? 

Anne. That bain't no wasp. That's a bee. 

JosiAH (pocketing his handkerchief). A bee, is it ? 
Oh, mustn't kill a bee,, 

Anne. It warn't your fault you failed. Destroy- 
ing of your own money- making property. The idea ! 

JosiAH (apologetically). 1 be fair vexed, Anne. 
That I be. 

Anne (getting up and piiUing her sewing down). 
ril open door and let un fly out. 

JosiAH. Don't hold un open long. Mustn't have 
a draught in room. Be outside door open ? 

Anne (opening the door r.). Yes. But it's too 
warm^ to do ye any hurt. 

JosiAH. Draughts be bad, warm or cold. 

Anne (watching as she holds the door open). There 
he goes. Straight to garden. 

JosiAH. I'm main glad 1 didn't kill he. Bees 
spells honey and honey's money. What be that ? 

Anne (shading her eyes ivith her hand). Barmby's 
van he coming down lane with Joe Sykes a-driving 
her. 

JosiAH. Let 'em knock, then. 

Anne. He's getting down, now, with a box. 
About time they things came, too. Place looks quite 
bare with what's been sold lately. 



THE OAK SETTLE. 9 

TosiAH More things from London ? 

\NNE Yes. It 'ull be tliey as we ordered. 

( Si)eakin^ to some one without^ Well, Joe Sykes, what 
be that ? ^ Brhig her in. • (Enter Joe Sykes, a earners 
vanman, in corduroys without coat carrying a small 
packing-case on his shoulder. He sets it down without 
shaking, and sits on it mopping his brow with a targe 
red handkerchief taken from his irousers pocket, and 
taking a targe yetlow delivery sheet from his waistcoat 

^''foE iinqmringly to Anne). Mrs. Anne Barton? 
Anne. To be sure. \on know me well enough, 

Toe Sykes. , -, ■ ^. a 

Joe Ave, for a neighbour, l^.ut that bam t good 
enough when it's a matter o' business. , , , . 

\NNE What's taken you, you great iueW 
Haven't vou been here many a time with cases and 
such-hke'? [Trving to snatch the delivery note. JOE 
'calmlv shifts it 'from hand to hand j 

Joe (to JosiAH). Do you identify this woman ? 
]osiA}i {hand to ear). Eh? 

Joe (louder). Be her Mrs. Anne Barton? {Jerk- 
ing his thumb towards Anne.) 

TosiAH. O' course her be. , 

Joe (Iianding the paper). Them you signs here^ 
ANNE (snatching U angrily and takmgpm and ml 
from the mantelshelf and signing at the table) . 1 nere . 
Joe (examining signature). Pretty writer you be, 

^^^ Ann^^T' want none of your impudence now. 
You'd better be off. 

Toe (rising slowly). It's a warm aay. 

Aii^JL (shortly). 'Yes. Good-afternoon. 

Joe. a warm day. A thirsty day 

Anne. There's a pump m the yard. 

Joe. I wouldn't rob you, mam. It's a say mg we 
have down to the village, mean as a Barton. Don t 
go for to spoil it, mam, by giving summat away. 
Good-day. (Exit Joe.) 



10 THE OAK SETTLE. 

Anne (closing door.) Brasscn piece of impudence. 
[She takes a small crowbar and opens the packing-case, 
going down on her knees, facing audience.) 

JosiAH. What be in box ? 

Anne. It be .they jugs wc ordered — Toby jugs 
and warming-pans. Last lot was sold quick. 

JOSiAii {grumblingly). Jugs and such bain't worth 
the trouble. Matter o' a shilling or two. (Anne 
rises zfjith a pair of jugs which she puts on the mantel. 
Then she feels on it and finds a Post Office Savings Bank 
book which she opens.) 

Anne. You're losing heart, Josiah, that's vvhat it 
is. See, here's your bank-book. Just cast your eye 
down that. (Josiah takes it, fingers it reverently and 
chuckles.) Ah ! That does you good, does it ? I 
thought so. 

Josiah. It's God's truth you're a wonderful 
woman, Anne, and I don't care if you do come in for 
it when I'm in my grave. You merit it for sure. 
(Anne returns to tJie case and extracts a warming- 
pan.) ■' '.' 

Anne. Don't you. despise the shillings. It's all 
good money and the trouble's mine. Bain't yours. 

Josiah. It's time we sold summat big. Bits o' 
pots*' bain't to my taste nohow. That settle in the 
window there's taking a long time to go off. 

Anne {propping the warming-pan in the corner by 
the door r.) No, her bain't neither. Her's not been 
there above a two thrde week and we made live pun ' 
on the last. You can't expect to sell a piece o' furni- 
ture every day o' the week. An old Toby jug's 
different. {Getting another out from case.) Ugly 
t hings they be though.^ 1 can't see what there is in 
'em to make gentlefolks fancy 'em. But there's no 
telling what they folk will fancy. 

^ Josiah. Old ! He ! he ! 

Anne {indignantly). "Well, they look old, don't 
they ? And if you tell the tale proper about they 
jugs being left you by your grandfer, they believes 



THE OAK SETTLE. 11 

them old too and you sells 'em for twice what we pays 
for 'em. (Carrying box off.) I'll put rest in t'other 
room. It don't do to have too many out at once. 
(She gies out r. A motor-horn heard at back. Josiaii 
hastily conceals ihe bank book in his pocket. Re-enter 
Anne.) 

JosiAH. What be that ? One o' they danged 
motor-cars ? 

Anne (going to ivindow). Yes. It be that for 
sure. 

JosiAH. Cuss 'em. What do they want coming 
down a lane like ours with their dust and din when 
there's a plenty o' wide straight roads that are fit for 
the likes o' they ? 

Anne. They're stopping and reading our sign 
about milk being fur sale. (She draws back and 
watches from behind the curtain.) Yes. They've 
stopped now. 

JosiAH. Cuss 'em. 

Anne. Who are you cussing ? They're getting 
out of motor now, two of them, man and woman, 
they be. Now they're coming up path. 

JosiAH (muttering). Cuss 'em. Disturbing of my 
sleep. 

Anne (roughly). Hush your row. It's money in 
your pocket, isn't it, if it's only milk they're after ? 
So much nearer to the pub you're always talking ot 
to end your days in. 

JosiAH (obstinately). Price of a glass of milk baint 
worth breaking your rest for. 

Anne. The bee did that anyhow. 

JosiAH. I'd have dropped off again. 

Anne. Well, who knows ? (Coming from imn- 
doiK}.) It might be better than that. (Her eyes 
wander round the room, fixing on the seitle below the 
windrow and an evil look crosses her face.) They look 
young and they're happen fools like all 3^oung folks, 
especially them as goes in motors. 

JosiAH (looking at settle). You mean — — 



12 THE OAK SETTLE. 

Anne. Yes, o' course I do. Mind you remember 
what I told you ii' 1 call you in, and don't get mixed 
in your tale this time. 

JosiAH {chuckling senilelv) . Oho. That 's the game 
is it ? ' ' 

Anne. It might be. There's never no telling. 
(A knock outsid'S k. She goes to the door and exit. 
The murmur of a man's cultured voice is heard for a 
moment and Anne's in reply. Josiah's hand goes up to 
his car, but he fails to hear and brings it down irritably. 
Anne holds back the door for the motorists to enter. 
They are Frank Chatteris, a pleasant-looking man of 
about thirty and his pretty wzfe Elsie. Chatteris 
is in tweeds with a cap. Elsie has on a dust cloak 
which reveals a sir/iple summer frock and a motor veil 
over her hat. The get-up of both suggests the occasional 
rather i^:an the professional motorist. Josiah rises 
slowly as they come in and with deferential nod makes 
his way to the door l. leaning on a stick which was by 
his hand against the chair.) 

Frank. Oh, I say, don't let us disturb you, sir. 
We only want a glass of miik. 

Josiah. You bain't disturbing T 

Anne (closing the door). It's ail right, sir. It's not 
for the likes of him to sit in the same room with the 
quality. 

Frank (humouring hr — gravely). I see. (Exit 
Josiah l.) 

Anne. Milk you said, sir, wasn't it ? 

Frank. Yes, please. 

Anne (following Josiah). Yes, sir. 

Frank. Oh, I saj^ you haven't any soda, have 
you ? 

Anne (stopping ). Oh yes, sir. 

Frank (to Elsie). Will you? 

Elsie. Yes. I'd rather have soda. 

Frank. Make it soda and milk then, will you ? 

Anne. Yes, sir. Just a minute, sir. (Exit L.) 

Frank. Did you hear that, Elsie ? We're the 



THE OAK SETTLE. 13 

quality. Not much Socialism about these parts. 
The quality ! Good Lord ! 

Elsie (looking round). Oh, Frank, what a perfect 
room ! 

Frank [jolloiving suit). Yes. Jolly little place, 
isn't it ? 

Elsie Little ! It's like a palace after our stuffy 
flat. 

Frank (dubiously). Um. I prefer the flat. 

Elsie (pouting). Oh, do enthuse. 

Frank. Can't when I'm thirsty. 

Elsie. So am I. I am glad you noticed that sign. 

Frank. Yes. (The pop of a soda water bottle 
opening is lieard.) That sounds like business. 

Elsie. Did you notice the woman, Frank ? 

Frank. Not particularly. Why ? 

Elsie. I'll tell you in a moment. Here she is. 
(Enter Anne l. with two large glasses containing 
soda and milk on a tray, which she puts on the table.) 

Anne. Won't you sit down, mam ? 

Elsie, (sitting and taking off her glove). Thanks. 

Frank (sitting and taking up a glass). That's what 
you might call a long drink, isn't it ? (Drinking.) 

Elsie. I'm going to sip mine quietly and take my 
time over it, if I may ? (Looking at Anne.) 

Anne (iiDith some show of cordiality). Ye stay as 
long as you're a mind, mam. Best not to hurry 
yourself over milk, though soda do lighten it to be sure. 
(Anne turns to go.) 

Elsie. Thank you. 

Frank (putting his hand to his pocket). Oh- 

(Exit Anne l.) 

Elsie. She'll be coming back for it. Did you 
notice her that time ? 

Frank. I had a look. 

Elsie. Isn't she sweet with her nice fresh face ? 
I wonder if my complexion will be anything like hers 
when I'm her age ? 

Frank. I thought she looked a bit hard. 



14 THE OAK SETTLE. 

Elsie. Oh, Frank, how can ycu ? I'm sure she's a 
dear. Do you know what she made me think of ? 

FRAiSiK (sipping). No. What was it ? 

Elsie. The country, Frank. That woman's face 
— so unHke the tired jaded faces of the women one 
meets in town — this room — our ride through the green 
lanes— Oh, how different it all is from, our artificial 
closed up life boxed in amongst everlasting rows of 
houses. Life in the country must be one continual 
dream of delight. 

Frank. Think so, little womian ? Do you know, 
I expect you'd be bored to death in a month. It's 
not m'uch sport sitting down watching vegetables 
grow, and there isn't even that violent form of 
dissipation in the winter. 

Elsie. Oh. how literal you are. I didn't say I 
wanted you to be a farmer. No. We could hunt 
and have house-parties 

Frank. And generall}- live up to ten thousand a 
year when we've got five hundred. And all this be- 
cause I get a da}^ ofi from the city and brought you 
out for a run in a hired motor to blow the cobwebs 
awa3\ 

Elsie. And Fm grateful for it, Frank. It does 
us good sometimes to be taken out of ourselves, to 
come back, if it's only for a day, to the simple life of 
the countr}'. To see these happy smiling faces with 
simpHcity and content written upon them — oh, it 
makes me feel a beast when I remember all T have and 
how little the\^ have. 

Frank. A minute ago you were envying them this 
room. Anyhow, I shouldn't let it upset me. I dare- 
say they do very well. I've a notion that woman is 
not the sort to want much. 

Elsie. Yes. It's — oh, it's silly of me to go on hke 
this. To-day, too, our red-letter day. The anniver- 
sary of our wedding, Frank. Forgive me. Fll try 
not to be silh/ again. 

Frank. Cheer up. Have a drink of milk, 



THE OAK SETTLE. 15 

Elsie. You' old .goose. (She drinks. Frank 
rises with a little caress and sir oils round the room.) 

Frank. You know, much as I prefer the flat for 
living in, as an architect I can't help taking a sort of 
professional interest in this old room. By Jove, we 
don't build like 'this nowadays. 

Elsie (watching him as he examines the window). 
What's that mkler the window ? 

Franl: (putting his hand on it). This thing ? 

Elsie. Yes. 

Frank. Oh, it's one of those old settles. (Sitting 
on it.) Beastly hard it is, too. Our ancestors had 
some funny notions of comfort. 

Elsie (rising and going to it). What a quaint old 
thing. 

Frank (getting up and inspecting). Finely carved, 
isn't it ? 

Elsie (enthusiastically). It's beautiful. Oh, Frank, 
v/ouldn't it look just too lovely for words in our fiat ? 

Frank (dubiously) . I 'm sure I don't know. Where 
on earth would- you find room for it ? 

Elsie. In the hall, of course. We've been want- 
ing a chair there badly and that beautiful old settle 
would be just the right thing. 

Frank. Umph ! 

Elsie. What are you umphing about ? 

Frank (quizzically). Covetous ? 

Elsie (brazenly). Yes, I am. I would love to 
have it. 

Frank. My dear girl, that old thing and our 
modern flat wouldn't go very well together. 

Elsie. Lots of people have them. 

Frank. Oh, I daresay. I ca.n't afford old furni- 
ture. Besides, it would be so out of place in the fl.at 
where everything's aggressively new. Here it's — oh, 
it's in the picture. It hts in. It might have grown 
where it is. 

Elsie (sighing). Yes, I suppose you're right. 
(She returns disappointedly to her milk. Frank goes 



IH THE OAK SETTLE. 

on examining the left wall. Elsie looks at him : he is 
too interested to notice. She shrugs her shoulders. 
He continues interested.) 

Elsie. Frank ! 

Frank (casually, still busy xvith the wall). Yes, 
dear. 

Elsie. Frank, come here ! (He haves the ivall 
with regret.) 

Frank. Yes? 

Elsie. Sit down and listen to me. 

Frank (sitting). Delighted. 

Elsie. No, you're not. You much prefer staring 
at that silly old wall to gratifying your pretty wife. 
Now, you know what we had fixed to do to-night ? 

Frank. Dine at home and have a cosy evening 
together — wasn't that it ? 

Elsie. Yes, and discuss what you are to give me 
for a wedding present — well a wedding anniversary 
present. j 

Frank. Yes. that's all right. 

Elsie. Yi)u've not forgotten and bought me any- 
thing ? 

Frank. Oh, no. 1 remembered the bond. 

Elsi^:. Well, let's do it now instead. 

Frank. Do what ? 

Elsie. Discuss the present. 

Frank. All right. (Binding forward and putting 
his hands together.) I'll tell you what I thought. I 
spotted a ripping pendant in Regent Street the other 
day. I want vou to see it and then if we can run to 
it— 

Elsie. Extravagant boy ! No. Buy me that 
settle. 

Frank. What ! 

Elsie. I'd like a real souvenir of to-day, Frank, 
something I could look at to remind me always of 
what we've done and the places we've been in to-day. 
It's been a great day that you have given me. You 
don't know how much Fve looked forward to this 



THE OAK SETTLE. 17 

holiday and how much I've enjoyed it. And that 
settle— well, it fascinates me. 

Frank. But, my dear girl, it's not on sale. It's 
simply a piece of furniture in a private house. 

Elsie. Ask the woman when she comes li she's 
not ready to sell. 

Frank. Well, but— I doi-'t know anything about 
old furniture. Some of it's ; wfully valuable. 

Elsie. Probably the}- ha \ -n't the faintest idea of 
its value. 

Frank. I haven't myself for the matter of that. 
And the thing may have a sentimental value as a 
family heirloom. It's a bit different from this stuff. 
(Indicating the horse-hair sofa.) And they'd need to 
be prettv blind if thev can't see the difference. 

Elsie^ But just think of what wonde^ ful bargains 
one hears of people picking u|) m out of the way 
cottages. 

Frank. I daresay. They're ex])erts. 

Elsie. Not always. And you're never certain 
about <-,ld furniture bought in town. They can 
imitate the real thing so well nowadays. There's no 
question about the genuineness of a settle we drop 
across by chance in an old house hke this. 

Fr.ank. That's true enougli. 

Elsie. Yes. And we could take it back with us 
on the motor and save carriage. 

Frank. No. Fni hanged if we could. In for a 
penny in for a pound. I 'm not a carrier yet. Besides 
the cliances are I shall only offend the old lady if 1 
mention tjie tiling, and I don't know how to set about 
it anyhow. 

Elsie [reproachfully). Frank ! 

Frank. What's the matter ? 

Elsie (imth exaggerated pathos). Am I to plead to 
you, to-dav of all days ? 

Frank. ^ No. It's vour call, partner. (Going to 
the settle again.) You know, I'm not at all sure that 
we shall be able to open our hall door with this in it. 



18 THE OAK SETTLE. 

Elsie (turning towards him). Well, if it i's too big 
we can sell it and make a profit. 

Frank {smiling indulgently). Wliat a mercenary 
person you are ! 

Elsie. Well, I don't see wh}^ we should throw 
away a chance of turning an honest penny, if we can't 
find room for it. We're not that ,rich. I am only 
] eing practical and businesslike. Women go into 
all soits of business, don't they? ' . 
> Frank [cmiused). Oh, yes. 

Elsie. Yes. Then why should yuu sit on me 
because I've an eye to the main chance ? I want to 
<prove that I'm not quite useless to you. 

Frank. What do you suppose the thmg's worth ? 
. Elsie. How much were you going to spend on 
the pendant you saw ? 

Frank. Oh, I don't know. Something like 
tw^enty pounds, I suppose. 

Elsie. Well, don't go above that for the settle. 

Frank. Fm to do the talking then ? 

Elsie. Of course. 

Frank (going towards door l.). 1 wonder where the 
woman i- ? (Looking back.) You know, I had rather 
set my heart on getting you that pendant. 

Elsie. Frank ! 

Frank (knocking on door). All right, dear. (He 
retires from door. Enter Anne.) 

Anne. Did you knock, sir?. 

Frank. I — Yes. 

Anne. Is it the milk ? (Looking.) Why, 3'ou've 
not finished it. 

Elsie. Oh, but it's very nice- I'm quite enjoying 
it. (Sipping.) 

Frank (awkwardly). The fact is, Mrs. — er — I don't 
know your name. 

Anne. Barton, sir. Yes, sir ?' 

Frank. Oh, yes. The fact is we — that is — my 
wife — er — we've been taking the liberty of looking 
round your room. 



THE OAK SETTLE. 19 

Elsie {coming to the rescue). And what a sweet 
room it is, Mrs. Barton. I should think you must love 
to live in a place liice this. 

Anne. Bain't so bad. {A pause.) 
Frank. No — er. (Desperately.) That's an oldish 
piece of furniture you've got there. (Anne's eyes 
wander vacantly.) 

Frank (impatiently). Under the window. 
1/ Anne. Oh ! That. ''^1 

" Frank. Yes. I wonder now what a thing like 
that would be woith ? 

iay as I can tell, sir. 
XOffhandedly.) Probably, net 



Anne. 


I can't sa^ 


Frank. 


' No„ ( 


much. 




Anne. . 


Oh, but 


Frank. 


Indeed. 


Anne. 


Yes, sir. 



is. Terrible old that be, sir. 

You see, sh", my husband, 
octcgeranium lie is — ( Ider than me this m.any year — 
it came to him when his father died — been in the 
famhly years upcn yea s, sir — regular /leirlocm as you 
might say. 

Frank. I see. {Looks at Elsie.) 

Elsie. I suppose yxu wouldn't care to sell it. 
Mrs. Bartcn ? 

Anne [feigning great surprise). Sell that settle 
mam ? 

Elise. Yes. I've taken quite a fancy to it. 

Anne (dubiously). Well, it's not for sale. 

Elsie. Oh, but suiely you- 

Anne (curtly). It's not for sale. 

Frank (to Elsie). That's oft, then. 

Elsie (motioning him to keep quiet — to Anne per- 
suasively). We wv'uld pay you a good price, Mrs. 
Barton. 

Frank (to Elsie— impatiently). Oh, if she doesn't 
want to sell, what's the good of going on ? 

Elsie. Be quiet, Frank. (To Anne.) I sup- 
pose, Mrs. Barton, that it's a matter your husband 
woi^ld have to decide ? 



20 THE OAK SETTLE. 

Anne (gloomily). He wouldn't sell, mam, not if 
you was to go on your bended knees to him for 
it. 

Elsie. But don't you think he'd consider it, now. 
if you had a little talk with him first and told him we 
were ready to pay him a good price ? 

Anne. It hain't no use, mam. He do love that 
bit of furniture so well as a child or a hoi se. 

Frank. Yes, I don't think we ought to ask the 
old gentleman to sell if he's so m.uch attached to it. 
(Touching Elsie.) Come along, Elsie. You can see 
that Mrs. Barton doesn't even care to mention it to her 
husband. 

Anne (graciously). I might mention it, sir. No 
harm in that, only 

Elsie. Yes, of course you will. I'm sure you 
don't use it. That sofa is far more comfortable. 

Anne. Use it ? Well, no, we don't use it to sit 
on. But he'd miss it, do you see ? It's been in the 
family so long too, but I'll just mention it to him, to 
oblige you, *mam. 

Elsie. Thanks very much. 

Anne. Yes. I'll see what he says. (Exit Anne 

L-) 

Elsie (triumphantly). You see, I've done it after 
all. 

Frank. I bet you a pair of gloves he refuses point 
blank. Either that or asks some fancy price to 
choke us off. You might as well have dropped it at 
once. 

Elsie. Now, Frank, just; leave this to me. I'll 
show you what a capable; business woman you 
married. : 

Frank. You've hidden your light under a bushel 
so far. 

Elsie. Just you wait. People in the country 
don't see much money. I expect they'll be tempted 
very easily. (Enter l. Anne and Josiah. Anne 
leads him towards his chair.) 



THE OAK SETTLE. 21 

Anne. It's the old settle, Josiah. 

JosiAH [vacantly). Eh ? 

Anne (settling him in his chair). Do you mind if he 
sits down, mam ? It's his rheumatics. Scrutiniz- 
ing pains, he has. (Josiah sits.) The lady wants 
you to sell her the settle, Josiah. 

Josiah (shaking his head). Sell my settle ? 

Elsie. Yes. What do you say, Mr. Barton ? 

Josiah. Sell my settle ? No, no, no. 

Anne (persuasively). It bain' t no use to us, 
Josiah. 

Josiah. Use ? No, happen it's not. The room 
wouldn't look itself without it, though. 

Frank (^,s if tired of the discussion, briskly). Look 
here, sir, I'll give you a five pound note for it. 

Josiah (with determination, nudged by Anne who 
stands by his chair.) I won't part, sir. 

Frank. Eight pounds. 

Josiah. No. 

Frank (turning away). Oh, all right. 

Elsie. Eight pounds is a lot of money, Mr. 
Barton. Think what you could do with eight 
pounds. 

Anne. Yes. You could buy that milking cow 
you were after for that. 

Josiah (testily). No, I couldn't neither. He 
won't sell under ten. (Elsie looks appealingly at 
Frank.) 

Frank. I'll give ten. 

Josiah. 'Tain't no use, sir. I wouldn't part with 
that settle not for twenty pound, I wouldn't. It's 
not only because it's been there so long and come down 
to m.e from my father. 

Elsie. What other reason is there ? 

Josiah. Well, you see, there was a gentleman come 
here a while back as admired that settle powerful. 
Told we as Queen Anne weren't dead when that was 
made and as how it was worth more than he w^as, an 
he'd a gold watch chain same as you, sir. I'm not 



'22 tPIf: OAK'-'^feT^liE: 

short of m6ne\'% sir. Maybe I'm not much to look 
at, but that settle's not for sale, thanking yc: kindly 
for your off^r; "sir ■ ■ 

Elsie (/o Frank). It is valuable, then. I told 
you so. Qu^.fe^ -Aline" peridd thmgs'alw'^y.'>'-^re. ■ -We 
could s^rid #^o CMs'tig'^^ knt\ 'gifei'fio^'elid ^f'-3!nM#7 
for it. ^ ' '''''■■' '' ■ '''^ ■ ■ -^ '''-'-^ Y'\wy\^ if/.r-'"^ 

Frank. ' All right . I '11 go t he limit .' ^^T^ J(3&iAii. ) 
Look here, Mr. Barton, I'll give you tv/enty pduilds 
for it and write you a cheque before I leivc th'e'ro*oni. 
That's my best offer. Take it or leave it.' 

JosiAH {nudged by Anne). Well, sir— — 

Anne. Do 'ee now, Josiah, do 'ee take it. It's a 
lot of money as the gentleman oilers you, and the old 
thing do need a power of elbow grease to keep her 
bright. 

Josiah. It's a bargain, sir. . 

Frank. Very well. (Takes a cheque hook from 
his pocket.) Can I trouble you for ink, Mrs. Barton ? 

Anne (laking the inkstand from the mantelshelf). 
Surely, sir. 

Frank (sitting down and zeiriting at the table). 
Twenty pounds. (Handing the cheque.) There you 
are. You see m\' name. I'll send for it to-morrow — 
er — perhaps you'd better let me have a receipt. 

Anne. Yes, sir. I'll write it. (Takes several 
sheets of paper from the mantle, sits at table and writes.) 

Frank (taking a pocket-book out). Here's a stamp, 

Anne. Thank vou, sir. The fifteenth to-dav, isn't 

it ? " :m. . 

Frank. Yes, hfteenth. 

Anne (handing receipt to him). Will that do ? 

Frank (reading it, folding and putting it in his pocket- 
hook). Admirably. Why, you're- quite a business 
woman, Mrs. -Barton. • ~ '^ " 

Anne. I have to be; sir; You see (indicating, 
Josiah), he's getting a bit'bevond it liow. 

Frank. F see. Well, T think we'd better be 
moving, liadn't we, Elsie? ■ ■' ' 



THE OAK SETTLE. 2^ 

Elsie. All right, dear. Good-bye, Mrs. Barton. 
Good-bye. (Mov^ng io Josiah.) 

Anne (curtseying). Good-day, mam. 

Frank. Good-day. [Exit Frank and Elsie r. 
^ISfNE holds /M dooropemfo^ them, mifd f^lQses it. 1 hen 
she^gaesiQ m.wm^w m^ looHoMt.) .The horn hoots. 
TosiAH breaks into a senile chuckle.) ^ 

\ :A^'NE (murningfwm the window),y \^ou may well 

''^^iS^H. ,IJee, hee, hee. (h^^r <0^:; at; .taUe^i 

What be doing ? ' ' ,,- 

Anne. Best lose no time about getting an- 
other. 

TosiAH. You never know your iucK. 

\nne No Fifteen pounds nearer that pub ot 
vour- Not bad for one afternoon. Now. [:^quar- 
mg up to write) Messrs. Smith & Jones, City Road, 
London E.G. Kmdly send another imitation Queen 
Anne period oak settle, list number— what ^ the 
number, Josiah? Best have same agam Oh, 1 
know-number 343^ as last had, price £5 neU 

carnage paid to josiah Barton [She breaks off 

and getsuf suddenly, all her smiles gone.) 

Josiah (interrupting his chuckling). What be to 
do with ye ? 

Anne. The thieves! 

Josiah. Thieves ? Who be ye a-cahmg ugl> 

names ? 

Anne. Them. 

TosiAH. W^iat be stolen ? . , • 

Anne. They've gone off without paying for the 

milk. 

Josiah. What ! 

%IL. ''^'L. cuss 'en... The- -to- 
neier brought luck to no one ^«'^%^"/, ^"f^ ^^^ 
now they come and eat honest folks out of house an4 
home and go off cool and easy without so much as 
offering to pay for what they've had. Cuss em. . 



APR I iyif 



24 



THE OAK SETTLE. 



Anne. The thieves. The dirty thieves. (She 
remains standing staring with a malevolent glare 
straight before her.) 



Curtain. 




X^R/i-VirXWG FCOOlUtt 



y^=:^i^;if*::4.«;;.=';F''- 



^ 




Omj tt.epL iii tUe liiif^e size, the DitcK. scant Is ib feet long and 9 teei in^i. a.au ,,.,. 
tends with the Wings and Borders to 20 feet long and 11^ feet high In the centre 
u a French window, leading down to the ground, On the left wing is a fireplacu 
with mirror above, and on the right wing is an oil painting. The whole scene is 
tastefully ornamented and beautifully coloured, forming a most elegant picture. 
The above is a representation of a box scene consisting of 38 sheets of paper, 
ttie extra sheets being used for the doors each side. 

£ 8. d. 
Back Scene, Border, and 1 Set of Wings, unmounted . . ..200 

Ditto, mounted 4 4 

Back Scene, Border, vrith 2 Sets of Wings as above to form Box 

Scene, unmounted .. .. 2 10 

Ditto, mounted ^. 6 5 



cottaoie; 




One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



entre is a dowr 1 u'ii> ,■;: • ..NU.f 
ht centre Ls a win<tovi. (;m tlM 
cene. The above ia a lepre-en 
a Box Scene), but a Box Seen* 
ngg. Prices' and size same a? 



FRENCH'S ACTING EDITION-Ts. per 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 



VOLUME 160 

K3d The Dentist 

2287 Taken for Granted 

KB8 Just as Well 

1239 Hogiuany 

224U Pansy 

2241 A Doctor's Engage- 
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2342 A Duet 

M13 My Milliner's Bill, Is. 

224-1 My Annt from Cali- 
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VOLUME 152 
Q^ Tlie Jilt 

37 'Op-o'-Me-Thiinib 

38 A Marringe Has Beeii 

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2269 Carrots 

2270 Conversion of Nat 

Sturge 



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VOLUME 15J 

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VOLUME 154 



2296 Wrong Side of the 

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2302 Privy Council 

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£Oua isjecT.ion oi A.tini 
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2310 Uncle Dick's Darling 

VOLUME 155 

2311 That Horrid Major 

2312 Bardwell v. Pickwick 

2313 House of Nightingales 

2314 Turtle Dovee (der 

2315 Superior Miss Pelleu' 

2316 His Good Genius 

2317 Martha Plaj's the Fairy 

2318 Dumb Cake 

2319 Proposing by Proxy 

2320 Phoenix 

232! Boatswain's Mate 

2322 Final Rehearsal 

2323 Two Aunts at a Time 

2324 Nelson Touch 

2325 Convict on the Hearth 

VOLUME 156 

2326 Grey Parrot 

2327 Ghostof Jerry Bundler 
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2330 Changeling 

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2332 Pride of Regiment 
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2354 Man on the Kerb 

2335 O'Dowd 

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Creature 

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2339 Old Maltha Is. 

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